22 February 2011
Organizational meeting
The founders (Four-Eyed Jack and Rico) were having an organizing meeting on Saturday, 5 March, at Rico's place in Wynnewood, Pennsylvania, but somebody died, alas, so it's delayed until Saturday, 19 March, at 2pm..
11 February 2011
19th Century Vernacular
The Art of Manliness Dictionary of Manly 19th Century Vernacular
Admiral of the Red: A person whose very red face evinces a fondness for strong potations.
All-overish: Neither sick nor well; the premonitory symptoms of illness. Also the feeling which comes over a man at a critical moment, say just when he is about to “pop the question.” Sometimes this is called, “feeling all-over alike, and touching nowhere.”
Anointing: A good beating. A case for the application of salve. Barking-Iron, or Barker: A pistol. Term used by footpads and thieves generally.
Bellows: The lungs. Bellowser, a blow in the ” wind,” or pit of the stomach, taking one’s breath away.
Bellows to Mend: A person out of breath; especially a pugilist is said to be “bellows to mend” when winded.
Blind Monkeys: An imaginary collection at the Zoological Gardens, which are supposed to receive care and attention from persons fitted by nature for such office and for little else. An idle and useless person is often told that he is only fit to lead the Blind Monkeys to evacuate. Another form this elegant conversation takes, is for one man to tell another that he knows of a suitable situation for him. “How much a week? and what to do?” are natural questions, and then comes the scathing and sarcastic reply, “Five bob a week at the doctor’s— you’re to stand behind the door and make the patients sick. They won’t want no physic when they sees your mug.”
Blinker: A blackened eye. Also a hard blow in the eye.
Bone Box: The mouth. Shut your bone box; shut your mouth.
Bully Trap: A brave man with a mild or effeminate appearance, by whom the bullies are frequently taken in.
Bunch Of Fives: The fist. Pugilistic.
Cat-heads: A woman’s breasts. Sea phrase.
Cold Coffee: Misfortune ; sometimes varied to COLD Gruel. An unpleasant return for a proffered kindness is sometimes called COLD Coffee.—Sea.
Colt’s Tooth: Elderly persons of juvenile tastes are said to have a Colt’s Tooth, i.e., a desire to shed their teeth once more, to live life over again.
Crab: To prevent the perfection or execution of any intended matter of business, by saying any thing offensive or unpleasant, is called crabbing it, or throwing a crab; to crab a person, is to use such offensive language or behaviour as will highly displease, or put him in an ill humour.
Cupboard Love: Pretended love to the cook, or any other person, for the sake of a meal. My guts cry cupboard; i.e. I am hungry.
Cut: To renounce acquaintance with any one is to cut him. There are several species of the CUT. Such as the cut direct, the cut indirect, the cut sublime, the cut infernal, etc. The cut direct is to start across the street, at the approach of the obnoxious person, in order to avoid him. The cut indirect is to look another way, and pass without appearing to observe him. The cut sublime is to admire the top of King’s College Chapel, or the beauty of the passing clouds, till he is cut of sight. The cut infernal is to analyze the arrangement of your shoe-strings, for the same purpose.
Dash-fire. Vigor, manliness.
Draw the Long Bow: To tell extravagant stories, to exaggerate overmuch; same as “throw the hatchet.” From the extremely wonderful stories which used to be told of the Norman archers, and more subsequently of Indians’ skill with the tomahawk.
Drumsticks: Legs. Drumstick cases-pants
Earth Bath: A grave.
Eternity Box: A coffin.
Fart Catcher: A valet or footman, from his walking behind his master or mistress.
Firing A Gun: Introducing a story by head and shoulders. A man, wanting to tell a particular story, said to the company, “Hark; did you not hear a gun?—but now we are talking of a gun, I will tell you the story of one.”
Fimble-Famble: A lame, prevaricating excuse.
Fizzing: First-rate, very good, excellent; synonymous with “stunning.”
Flag of Distress: Any overt sign of poverty; the end of a person’s shirt when it protrudes through his trousers.
Floorer: A blow sufficiently strong to knock a man down, or bring him to the floor. Often used in reference to sudden and unpleasant news.
Flying Mess: “To be in Flying Mess ” is a soldier’s phrase for being hungry and having to mess where he can.
Follow-me-lads: Curls hanging over a lady’s shoulder.
Gentleman of Four Outs: When a vulgar, blustering fellow asserts that he is a gentleman, the retort generally is, ” Yes, a Gentleman Of Four Outs”—that is, without wit, without money, without credit, and without manners.
Go By The Ground: A little short person, man or woman.
Gullyfluff: The waste—coagulated dust, crumbs, and hair—which accumulates imperceptibly in the pockets of schoolboys.
Gunpowder: An old woman.
Half-mourning: To have a black eye from a blow. As distinguished from ” whole-mourning,” two black eyes.
Heavy Wet: Malt liquor—because the more a man drinks of it, the heavier and more stupid he becomes.
Hobbadehoy: A youth who has ceased to regard himself as a boy, and is not yet regarded as a man.
Hogmagundy: The process by which the population is increased.
Holy Water: He loves him as the Devil likes holy water; i.e. hates him mortally.
Honor Bright: An asseveration which means literally, “by my honour, which is bright and unsullied” It is often still further curtailed to “honor!” only.
How’s Your Poor Feet!: An idiotic street cry with no meaning, much in vogue a few years back.
Hugger-mugger: Underhand, sneaking. Also, “in a state of Hugger- Mugger” means to be muddled.
Job’s Turkey: “As poor as Job’s Turkey,” as thin and as badly fed as that ill-conditioned and imaginary bird.
Keep a Pig: An Oxford University phrase, which means to have a lodger. A man whose rooms contain two bedchambers has sometimes, when his college is full, to allow the use of one of them to a Freshman, who is called under these circumstances a PIG. The original occupier is then said to Keep A Pig.
Ladder: “Can’t see a hole in a Ladder,” said of any one who is intoxicated. It was once said that a man was never properly drunk until he could not lie down without holding, could not see a hole through a Ladder, or went to the pump to light his pipe.
Lay down the knife and fork: To die. Compare Pegging-out, Hopping The Twig, and similar flippancies.
Monkey with a Long Tail: A mortgage.
Month of Sundays: An indefinite period, a long time.
Muckender: A pocket handkerchief, snottinger.
Nose-ender: A straight blow delivered full on the nasal promontory.
Nose in the Manger: To put one’s nose in the manger, to sit down to eat. To “put on the nose-bag” is to eat hurriedly, or to eat while continuing at work.
O’clock: “Like One O’clock,” a favorite comparison with the lower orders, implying briskness; otherwise “like winkin’.” “To know what’s O’clock” is to be wide-awake, sharp, and experienced.
Off One’s Chump: To be crazy is to be Off One’s Chump ; this is varied by the word CHUMPY. A mild kind of lunatic is also said to be “off his head,” which means of course exactly the same as the first phrase.
Off the Horn: A term used in reference to very hard steak, which is fancifully said to be Off The Horn.
Out of Print: Slang made use of by booksellers. In speaking of any person that is dead, they observe, ‘”he is out of print.”
Perpendicular: A lunch taken standing-up at a tavern bar. It is usual to call it lunch, often as the Perpendicular may take the place of dinner.
Pocket: To put up with. A man who does not resent an affront is said to Pocket it.
Pot-hunter: A man who gives his time up to rowing or punting, or any sort of match in order to win the “pewters” which are given as prizes. The term is now much used in aquatic and athletic circles; and is applied, in a derogatory sense, to men of good quality who enter themselves in small races they are almost sure to win, and thus deprive the juniors of small trophies which should be above the attention of champions, though valuable to beginners. Also an unwelcome guest, who manages to be just in time for dinner.
Rain Napper: Umbrella.
Rib: A wife.
Rumbumptious: Haughty, pugilistic.
Rusty Guts: A blunt, rough, old fellow.
Saucebox: A pert young person, in low life also signifies the mouth.
Saw Your Timber: “Be off!” equivalent to “cut your stick.” Occasionally varied, with mock refinement, to “amputate your mahogany.”
Scandal-water: Tea; from old maids’ tea-parties being generally a focus for scandal.
Shake the Elbow: To shake the elbow, a roundabout expression for dice-playing. To “crook the Elbow” is an Americanism for ” to drink.”
Sit-upons: Trousers.
Smeller: The nose; “a blow on the Smeller” is often to be found in pugilistic records.
Sneeze-lurker: A thief who throws snuff in a person’s face, and then robs him.
Sneezer: A pocket handkerchief.
Snooze-case: Pillow case.
Snotter, or Wipe-hauler: A pickpocket whose chief fancy is for gentlemen’s pocket-handkerchiefs.
Sober-water: A jocular allusion to the uses of soda-water.
Tail Down: “To get the Tail Down,” generally means to lose courage. When a professional at any game loses heart in a match he is said to get his Tail Down. ” His Tail was quite DOWN, and it was all over.” The origin is obvious.
Tune the Old Cow Died of: An epithet for any ill-played or discordant piece of music.
Sources:
Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, 1823.
The Slang Dictionary, 1874.
Slang and Its Analogues Past and Present.
Dictionary of Americanisms, 1877
Admiral of the Red: A person whose very red face evinces a fondness for strong potations.
All-overish: Neither sick nor well; the premonitory symptoms of illness. Also the feeling which comes over a man at a critical moment, say just when he is about to “pop the question.” Sometimes this is called, “feeling all-over alike, and touching nowhere.”
Anointing: A good beating. A case for the application of salve. Barking-Iron, or Barker: A pistol. Term used by footpads and thieves generally.
Bellows: The lungs. Bellowser, a blow in the ” wind,” or pit of the stomach, taking one’s breath away.
Bellows to Mend: A person out of breath; especially a pugilist is said to be “bellows to mend” when winded.
Blind Monkeys: An imaginary collection at the Zoological Gardens, which are supposed to receive care and attention from persons fitted by nature for such office and for little else. An idle and useless person is often told that he is only fit to lead the Blind Monkeys to evacuate. Another form this elegant conversation takes, is for one man to tell another that he knows of a suitable situation for him. “How much a week? and what to do?” are natural questions, and then comes the scathing and sarcastic reply, “Five bob a week at the doctor’s— you’re to stand behind the door and make the patients sick. They won’t want no physic when they sees your mug.”
Blinker: A blackened eye. Also a hard blow in the eye.
Bone Box: The mouth. Shut your bone box; shut your mouth.
Bully Trap: A brave man with a mild or effeminate appearance, by whom the bullies are frequently taken in.
Bunch Of Fives: The fist. Pugilistic.
Cat-heads: A woman’s breasts. Sea phrase.
Cold Coffee: Misfortune ; sometimes varied to COLD Gruel. An unpleasant return for a proffered kindness is sometimes called COLD Coffee.—Sea.
Colt’s Tooth: Elderly persons of juvenile tastes are said to have a Colt’s Tooth, i.e., a desire to shed their teeth once more, to live life over again.
Crab: To prevent the perfection or execution of any intended matter of business, by saying any thing offensive or unpleasant, is called crabbing it, or throwing a crab; to crab a person, is to use such offensive language or behaviour as will highly displease, or put him in an ill humour.
Cupboard Love: Pretended love to the cook, or any other person, for the sake of a meal. My guts cry cupboard; i.e. I am hungry.
Cut: To renounce acquaintance with any one is to cut him. There are several species of the CUT. Such as the cut direct, the cut indirect, the cut sublime, the cut infernal, etc. The cut direct is to start across the street, at the approach of the obnoxious person, in order to avoid him. The cut indirect is to look another way, and pass without appearing to observe him. The cut sublime is to admire the top of King’s College Chapel, or the beauty of the passing clouds, till he is cut of sight. The cut infernal is to analyze the arrangement of your shoe-strings, for the same purpose.
Dash-fire. Vigor, manliness.
Draw the Long Bow: To tell extravagant stories, to exaggerate overmuch; same as “throw the hatchet.” From the extremely wonderful stories which used to be told of the Norman archers, and more subsequently of Indians’ skill with the tomahawk.
Drumsticks: Legs. Drumstick cases-pants
Earth Bath: A grave.
Eternity Box: A coffin.
Fart Catcher: A valet or footman, from his walking behind his master or mistress.
Firing A Gun: Introducing a story by head and shoulders. A man, wanting to tell a particular story, said to the company, “Hark; did you not hear a gun?—but now we are talking of a gun, I will tell you the story of one.”
Fimble-Famble: A lame, prevaricating excuse.
Fizzing: First-rate, very good, excellent; synonymous with “stunning.”
Flag of Distress: Any overt sign of poverty; the end of a person’s shirt when it protrudes through his trousers.
Floorer: A blow sufficiently strong to knock a man down, or bring him to the floor. Often used in reference to sudden and unpleasant news.
Flying Mess: “To be in Flying Mess ” is a soldier’s phrase for being hungry and having to mess where he can.
Follow-me-lads: Curls hanging over a lady’s shoulder.
Gentleman of Four Outs: When a vulgar, blustering fellow asserts that he is a gentleman, the retort generally is, ” Yes, a Gentleman Of Four Outs”—that is, without wit, without money, without credit, and without manners.
Go By The Ground: A little short person, man or woman.
Gullyfluff: The waste—coagulated dust, crumbs, and hair—which accumulates imperceptibly in the pockets of schoolboys.
Gunpowder: An old woman.
Half-mourning: To have a black eye from a blow. As distinguished from ” whole-mourning,” two black eyes.
Heavy Wet: Malt liquor—because the more a man drinks of it, the heavier and more stupid he becomes.
Hobbadehoy: A youth who has ceased to regard himself as a boy, and is not yet regarded as a man.
Hogmagundy: The process by which the population is increased.
Holy Water: He loves him as the Devil likes holy water; i.e. hates him mortally.
Honor Bright: An asseveration which means literally, “by my honour, which is bright and unsullied” It is often still further curtailed to “honor!” only.
How’s Your Poor Feet!: An idiotic street cry with no meaning, much in vogue a few years back.
Hugger-mugger: Underhand, sneaking. Also, “in a state of Hugger- Mugger” means to be muddled.
Job’s Turkey: “As poor as Job’s Turkey,” as thin and as badly fed as that ill-conditioned and imaginary bird.
Keep a Pig: An Oxford University phrase, which means to have a lodger. A man whose rooms contain two bedchambers has sometimes, when his college is full, to allow the use of one of them to a Freshman, who is called under these circumstances a PIG. The original occupier is then said to Keep A Pig.
Ladder: “Can’t see a hole in a Ladder,” said of any one who is intoxicated. It was once said that a man was never properly drunk until he could not lie down without holding, could not see a hole through a Ladder, or went to the pump to light his pipe.
Lay down the knife and fork: To die. Compare Pegging-out, Hopping The Twig, and similar flippancies.
Monkey with a Long Tail: A mortgage.
Month of Sundays: An indefinite period, a long time.
Muckender: A pocket handkerchief, snottinger.
Nose-ender: A straight blow delivered full on the nasal promontory.
Nose in the Manger: To put one’s nose in the manger, to sit down to eat. To “put on the nose-bag” is to eat hurriedly, or to eat while continuing at work.
O’clock: “Like One O’clock,” a favorite comparison with the lower orders, implying briskness; otherwise “like winkin’.” “To know what’s O’clock” is to be wide-awake, sharp, and experienced.
Off One’s Chump: To be crazy is to be Off One’s Chump ; this is varied by the word CHUMPY. A mild kind of lunatic is also said to be “off his head,” which means of course exactly the same as the first phrase.
Off the Horn: A term used in reference to very hard steak, which is fancifully said to be Off The Horn.
Out of Print: Slang made use of by booksellers. In speaking of any person that is dead, they observe, ‘”he is out of print.”
Perpendicular: A lunch taken standing-up at a tavern bar. It is usual to call it lunch, often as the Perpendicular may take the place of dinner.
Pocket: To put up with. A man who does not resent an affront is said to Pocket it.
Pot-hunter: A man who gives his time up to rowing or punting, or any sort of match in order to win the “pewters” which are given as prizes. The term is now much used in aquatic and athletic circles; and is applied, in a derogatory sense, to men of good quality who enter themselves in small races they are almost sure to win, and thus deprive the juniors of small trophies which should be above the attention of champions, though valuable to beginners. Also an unwelcome guest, who manages to be just in time for dinner.
Rain Napper: Umbrella.
Rib: A wife.
Rumbumptious: Haughty, pugilistic.
Rusty Guts: A blunt, rough, old fellow.
Saucebox: A pert young person, in low life also signifies the mouth.
Saw Your Timber: “Be off!” equivalent to “cut your stick.” Occasionally varied, with mock refinement, to “amputate your mahogany.”
Scandal-water: Tea; from old maids’ tea-parties being generally a focus for scandal.
Shake the Elbow: To shake the elbow, a roundabout expression for dice-playing. To “crook the Elbow” is an Americanism for ” to drink.”
Sit-upons: Trousers.
Smeller: The nose; “a blow on the Smeller” is often to be found in pugilistic records.
Sneeze-lurker: A thief who throws snuff in a person’s face, and then robs him.
Sneezer: A pocket handkerchief.
Snooze-case: Pillow case.
Snotter, or Wipe-hauler: A pickpocket whose chief fancy is for gentlemen’s pocket-handkerchiefs.
Sober-water: A jocular allusion to the uses of soda-water.
Tail Down: “To get the Tail Down,” generally means to lose courage. When a professional at any game loses heart in a match he is said to get his Tail Down. ” His Tail was quite DOWN, and it was all over.” The origin is obvious.
Tune the Old Cow Died of: An epithet for any ill-played or discordant piece of music.
Sources:
Grose’s Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, 1823.
The Slang Dictionary, 1874.
Slang and Its Analogues Past and Present.
Dictionary of Americanisms, 1877
07 February 2011
Membership Dues for "Six-Gun Justice"
Membership dues for "Six-Gun Justice" are at this time under review. The plan is to get together as many interested parties for a planning/brainstorming meeting, where we'll hash out the organizations details, one of which will be the dues. Dues are a necessary evil, in order to defray the organization's operating expenses.
I, or my compadre Rico, we'll be in touch with people through phone or email, about the date, location and time of this planning meeting.
The 19th Century Gentleman - The Etiquette of Calling
Excerpts from "A Practical Guide For The 19th Century Man"
"Calling" was a somewhat ritualized version of the fine old American custom of "visiting". It was not nearly so important for the gentleman as it was for the lady. It generally fell upon the middle class lady to do what had to be done to hold "Society" together. Even if the gentleman was doing the calling, it was generally the lady who was receiving callers. Ladies did not call on gentlemen except on matters of business. Gentleman called on one another with little ceremony.
"Calling" was a somewhat ritualized version of the fine old American custom of "visiting". It was not nearly so important for the gentleman as it was for the lady. It generally fell upon the middle class lady to do what had to be done to hold "Society" together. Even if the gentleman was doing the calling, it was generally the lady who was receiving callers. Ladies did not call on gentlemen except on matters of business. Gentleman called on one another with little ceremony.
"If you are thrown amongst fashionable people, you must not pay a visit to a lady before two o'clock PM, nor after four, as if you call before that time, you will interrupt those avocations which more or less occupy every lady in the early part of the day: if later than four o'clock, you will prevent her driving out".
Hints on Etiquette, 1836
"[Calls]..are those of ceremony, friendship and condolence, and occupy no small portion of time. Such visits are necessary, in order to maintain good feelings between members of society... ...Professional men, are not however, expected to pay such visits, because their time is preoccupied; but they form almost the only exception."
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"If your friend or acquaintance is [away] from home, leave a card...the servant will answer your inquiry and receive your card; but on no account ask leave to go in and rest; neither urge your wish if you fancy the lady whom you desire to see is really at home or even if you flatter yourself that she would make an exception in your favor. Some people think that the form of words 'not at home' is readily understood to mean that the master or mistress of the house have no wish to see even his or her most intimate acquaintances."
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"A gentleman when making a formal call should retain his hat and gloves in his hands on entering the room. The hat should not be laid upon the table or stand, unless it is found necessary from some cause to set it down. In that case, place it upon the floor. An umbrella should be left in the hall. In an informal call, the hat, gloves, overcoat and cane may be left in the hall."
Our Deportment, 1881
"When one moves into a new neighborhood, it is the place of the neighbors to extend the hand of welcome to the strangers. The ladies should call on Mrs. A, the newcomer, just as soon as they think she is settled. And the gentleman should make it a point to get acquainted Mr. A, if not by a call, by speaking to him in the drug store or where ever they may meet...
Where a woman makes calls in the afternoon, it is always cheery for the hostess to offer a cup of tea with crackers or cake...
It does not seem necessary to have visiting cards. In a small place everyone knows who everyone is, and while it is all right to have them, still they are oftener not used than used. The name of the caller is left by saying "Tell Mr. A that Mr. B called; nothing important".
NOTE: I included this as it is a rare glimpse (rare at least for etiquette books) at what the vast majority of Americans were doing. It was placed in the book to contrast country manners with city manners. These, of course, are country manners.
Correct Social Usage, 1903
04 February 2011
The 19th Century Gentleman - The Etiquette of Greeting
"To a casual acquaintance you may bow without speaking; but to those with whom you are well acquainted greater cordiality is due. A bow should always be returned; even to an enemy it is courtesy to return his recognition."
Hill's Manual of Forms, 1873
"Between gentlemen, an inclination of the head, a gesture of the hand, or a mere touching of the hat is sufficient; but in bowing to a lady, the hat must be lifted from the head."
"The body is not bent at all in bowing; the inclination of the head is all that is necessary"
Our Deportment, 1881
"In meeting a lady it is optional with her whether she shall pause to speak. If the gentleman has anything to say to her, he should not stop her, but turn around and walk in her company until he has said what he has to say, when he may leave her with a bow and a lift of the hat."
Our Deportment, 1881
"One should always recognize lady acquaintances in the street, either by bowing or words of greeting, a gentleman lifting his hat. If they stop to speak, it is not obligatory to shake hands. Shaking hands [between a lady and gentleman] is not forbidden, but in most cases it is to be avoided in public."
Our Deportment, 1881
"If...you have been introduced to a person whose acquaintance you do not desire, you may merely make the formal bow of etiquette when you meet him, which, of itself, encourages no familiarity; but the bow is indispensible, for he cannot be thought a gentleman who would pass another with a vacant stare, after having been formally presented to him...
What is called 'cutting' another is never practiced by gentlemen or ladies, except in some extraordinary instances of bad conduct on the part of the individual thus sacrificed"
Martine's Handbook, 1866
02 February 2011
The 19th Century Gentleman - At The Table
No where was a man's breeding or lack thereof more on display than at the table. While some rules seem a bit quaint, most 19th Century table manners would not be out of place today. People still don't like it when you slurp your soup, or spray food when you talk.
"Nothing indicates a well bred man more than a proper mode of eating. A man may pass muster by dressing well, and may sustain himself tolerably in conversation; but if he be not perfectly "au fait", dinner will betray him."Manners aside, all was not well at the American table. Numerous commentators noted the absence of the husband from the domestic table, American's refusal to carry on friendly conversation while eating, and a tendency to eat rapidly and get the job of eating over as soon as possible. It was little wonder that dyspepsia (indigestion) was considered an epidemic among American men.
Hints on etiquette 1836
A Few RulesRules of Etiquette and Home Culture, 1886
- Do not play with the table utensils or crumble the bread.
- Do not put your elbows on the table, or sit too far back, or lounge.
- Do not talk loud or boisterously.
- Be cheerful in conduct or conversation.
- Never, if possible, cough or sneeze at the table.
- Never tilt back your chair while at the table, or at any other time.
- Do not talk when the mouth is full.
- Never make a noise while eating.
- Do not open the mouth while chewing, but keep the lips closed. It is not necessary to show people how you masticate your food.
- Never indicate that you notice anything unpleasant in the food.
- Do not break your bread into the soup, nor mix with gravy. It is bad taste to mix food on the plate.
- Never leave the table before the rest of the family or guests, without asking the host or hostess to excuse you.
- Eat soup with the side of the spoon, without noise.
- The fork is used to convey the food to the mouth, except when a spoon is necessary for liquids.
- Raw oysters are eaten with a fork.
- If you wish to be served with more tea or coffee, place your spoon in your saucer.
- Tea or coffee should never be poured into the saucer to cool, but sipped from the cup.
- If a dish is presented to you, serve yourself first and then pass it on.
Hill's Forms, 1873
- Never allow butter, soup or other food to remain on your whiskers.
- Never wear gloves at the table, unless your hands are for some special reason unfit to be seen.
- Never, when serving others, overload the plate nor force upon them delicacies which they decline.
- Never make a great display when removing hair, insects or other disagreeable things from your food. Place them quietly under the edge of your plate.
Rules of Etiquette and Home Culture, 1886
- Eat Cheese with a fork, not a knife
- Ask a servant in a low tone for what you want
- Break your bread, do not cut it.
- Eat fruit with silver knives and forks
- If you prefer, take up asparagus with the fingers. Olives and artichokes are always so eaten
- If a course is set before you that you do not wish, do not touch it.
- It is not your business to reprove the waiter for improper conduct; that belongs to your host.
- A gentleman must help a lady whom he has escorted to the table, to all she wishes; but it is improper for him to offer to help other ladies who have escorts
- Use a napkin only for your mouth. Never use it for your nose, face or forehead.
- It is very rude to pick your teeth at the table. If it becomes necessary to do so, hold your napkin over your mouth.
"At a sign from the hostess, the ladies all rise from the table, and repairing to the drawing-room, leave the gentlemen to their own devices. But it is a healthy sign that the gentlemen soon follow them. In France the gentlemen and ladies all leave the dinner table together, as indeed they do here, at an informal or family dinner."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891
"In America, with the exception of dancing, which is almost wholly confined to the unmarried of both sexes, all the enjoyments of the men are found in the absence of women. They dine, they play cards, they have musical meetings, they have suppers, all in large parties, but without women".
Fanny Trollope, Domestic Manners of the Americans, 1832
"The company remained a very little while at table, and spoke scarcely a word. They really did not give themselves time to eat their food properly, but bolted it burning hot and not half-chewed, although nobody had anything to do when the meal was over. They seem to have got into the habit of regarding every thing as business, and therefore to be performed with the utmost possible dispatch".
A Lady's Journey Round the World, Ida Pfeiffer, 1855
01 February 2011
The 19th Century Gentleman
In the Presence of Ladies
Excerpts from "A Practical Guide For The 19th Century American Man"
Excerpts from "A Practical Guide For The 19th Century American Man"
"Chesterfield says, 'Civility is particularly due to all women; and, remember, that no provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every woman; and the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours; nay, even a little is allowable with women; and a man may, without weakness, tell a woman she is either handsomer or wiser than she is'"
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"A gentleman will assist a lady over a bad crossing, or from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the formality of an introduction. When the service is performed, he will raise his hat, bow and pass on."
Hill's Forms, 1873
"In passing through a door, the gentleman holds it open for the lady, even though he never saw her before. he also precedes the lady in ascending stairs, and allows her to precede him in descending."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891
"Do not press before a lady at a theater or a concert. Always yield to her, if practicable, your seat and place. Do no sit when she is standing, without offering her your place. Consult not only your own ease, but also the comfort of those around you."
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"It is not deemed polite and respectful to smoke in the presence of ladies, even though they are amiable enough to permit it."
Martine's Handbook, 1866
"If you meet a lady of your acquaintance in the street, it is her part to notice you first, unless, indeed you are very intimate. The reason is, if you bow to a lady first, she may not choose to acknowledge you, and there is no remedy; but if she bow to you--you as a gentleman cannot cut her."
Hints on Etiquette, 1836
"A gentleman removes his hat when entering a room where there are ladies. When he meets a lady friend, he should raise his hat gracefully..."
Polite Society at Home and Abroad, 1891
Should one demand the surrender of a seat to a lady in a crowded theater? "To this, we would answer that, if the gallantry of the gentlemen thus situated does not prompt them to proffer the seats in question, it is rudeness to request it. A lady is a lady, it is true; but if she could not come early enough to get a good seat, she cannot expect that spectators who did should inconvenience themselves for her sake"
Gody's Ladies Book, Jan 1850
"...remember also that really well bred women will not thank you for making them conspicuous by over officiousness in their defense, unless, indeed, there be any serious or glaring violation of decorum. In small matters, ladies are both able and willing to take care of themselves, and would prefer being allowed to overwhelm the unlucky offender in their own way"
Hints on Etiquette, 1836
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